Parenting Experts Explains Why Children Should Not Be the Most Important Members of a Family
Throughout the internet and the world there are dozens of parenting manuals advocating the need to develop better relationships with children? As parents, we are taught how children matter a great deal in our lives and how we should make all effort to bring them up with a sense of diplomacy and tact so as not to mess them up psychologically. But, are we always giving too much importance to children and is that what may be leading to many taking advantage of the situation? Or could it be leading to a neglect of your relationship with your significant other? A leading psychologist and parenting expert thinks yes and here the reason why.
1Why should you not give kids more importance??
Many parents reading this will wonder why is it being regarded that kids are not the most important members of the family. John Rosemond, a psychologist and parenting expert says that the relationship that deserves the most important is the one you share with your partner, wife or husband. Your significant other should be considered more important than kids.
2Marriages do not exist because of kids, that is a myth
In various publications, Doctor Rosemond wrote “Many if not most of the problems [parents] are having with their kids…are a result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of their kids when it is, in fact, the other way around. He went on to say “Their kids exist because of them, and their marriage and [their kids] thrive because they have created a stable family,” he added. Kids wouldn’t have met the basic needs — food, clothing, and shelter, and even entertainment — without their parents.
3Parenting experts are emphasizing on the importance of parental relationships
Doctor Rosemond says that he was raised in a marriage-centric family which is unlike today’s trend of a kid-centric home. He is one of the many psychologists who are now trying to create awareness among parents not to neglect the spouse-partner relationship after they have kids. He says it does not even matter how old the kids are, be they infants, toddlers or teenagers, it is the husband and wife who need to pay more attention to each other instead of only focusing their emotions on kids. Rosemond published his article in the Hartford Courant.
Rosemond says that a happy home is the key to happy children and this is a major factor in raising healthy kids. He explains four reasons why people need to focus on their marriages and their partners more than their kids.
4Your kids become more independen
Rosemond says that when you raise a child regarding them as most important in the family, you give them the feeling that they are entitled to things. That is what no parent would ever want. “Your child too does not need that” Rosemond says. You have to let kids learn and create solution to their own problems and not hand them instant answers on a platter. Even if they are the smallest issues possible, it should be left to the child to learn how to solve a problem unless of course it is some health or serious issue which needs your intervention.